Life can be challenging, and the longer we live, the more likely we are to encounter situations that seem unfair. While this may not seem like the most rewarding part of aging, how we handle these moments can define our resilience and growth. Here are some tips to keep in mind the next time life throws you a curveball:
1. Remember That This Won't Last Forever
Even the toughest storms eventually pass. Think about a time in your past when you felt overwhelmed or defeated. How did things improve? Just as those difficult moments came to an end, the current situation will too. Brighter days are ahead, even if they feel far away right now.
2. Ask If Your Expectations Were Unrealistic
Reflect on whether your expectations might have set you up for disappointment. For example, expecting instant success in a new job or venture might not be realistic. Adjusting your expectations doesn’t mean lowering your standards—it means aligning them with reality to set yourself up for more consistent wins.
3. Smile and Laugh
Even in the darkest times, humor can be a lifeline. Watch a funny video, recall a hilarious memory with a friend, or simply force yourself to smile. Did you know that even a forced smile can trigger a chemical reaction that boosts your mood? Laughter and smiles are natural antidotes to stress.
4. Get It Out
Bottling up emotions only makes them more powerful. Let them out in a healthy way—shout into a pillow, dance to an angry song, write about what happened, or paint your feelings. Journaling, for instance, not only provides a release but can also help you gain clarity on the situation.
5. Don't Dwell on It
Ruminating over unfairness only magnifies its impact. For example, replaying a hurtful conversation in your mind won’t change it—it just deepens the wound. Redirect your focus to what you can do next, whether that’s starting a new project, reconnecting with a friend, or taking a walk to clear your head.
6. Accept
Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation. It means acknowledging reality so you can move forward. For instance, if you missed out on a promotion, accept it, then decide how to improve your skills or seek other opportunities. Acceptance is the foundation for growth and action.
7. Resist the "I Knew It" Mindset
Avoid falling into a pattern of self-defeating thoughts like, "This always happens to me." Instead, reframe it: "This happened, but it doesn’t define me." Cultivating a mindset of hope and resilience will help you attract better experiences in the future.
8. Life Isn't Fair or Unfair – It Just Is
Life is neutral; it’s our judgments that label events as “fair” or “unfair.” For example, missing a flight might feel unfair, but it could lead to unexpected opportunities, like meeting someone in the airport or avoiding a delay. How we interpret and respond to life’s events is what truly shapes our experiences.
9. What Lessons Can You Learn?
Every experience, good or bad, has something to teach us. Reflect on what happened and ask yourself, “What can I do differently next time?” For example, if a business deal falls through, you might learn to negotiate terms more thoroughly or better research your partners. These lessons build resilience and prepare you for future challenges.
Life isn’t about avoiding tough moments—it’s about how we grow through them. By practicing these strategies, you can navigate life’s challenges with grace and wisdom.
FAST-ACTION STEPS
✅ Plan something positive. Act. Prove that you are worthy of good things by making something wonderful happen today.
✅ Write about three times when life was unfair to you in the past. Then describe a few ways your life improved after those unfortunate experiences.
✅ Take part in an activity that makes you laugh and smile. Laughter is an age-old remedy for negative emotions.
Quote:
“Don’t let a little stormy weather get you down, there is always sunshine on the other side.” – Heather A. Stillufsen
If you’re ready to take control and build habits that support your emotional resilience, check out the following resources:
When It Matters: Finding Your Resolve When Things Can't Get Worse
Upheaval: Dealing With Disruptions That Are Beyond Your Control